I somehow feel like it's inappropriate for me to dwell on something so silly when something so serious is happening for Gary. But he's got that under way, and he'll be fine. He's got "get-up-and-go" like nobody I've ever met. But inappropriate or not, I keep coming back to the Creek in my mind and the fun we've had and the enormous boost to our friendship our little podcast has become. We'll do our one year show I think, whetherr or not Gary finds the time to do it with me, and then I just don't know.

Chub Creek for me, as I said during the first episode, has always really been something I did for myself and for Gary. But only now do I realize how much I mean that. It's for my pal, and the fun and excitement of sharing each show with each other before we release it to the public has been my favourite part of each week for a year now. It's not easy to let go of something you look forward to every week.

So I find myself wondering what next. When I say Chub Creek was also for me, I mean that during these tough times it has been a very sturdy shoulder for me to lean on when there was nothing else there. And it was perfect for that. I'll miss it. I'll miss talking into that mic knowing Gary will be helping me finish it and sharing it with me. This is all very sappy, and very odd so some people maybe, but I feel like I've lost something that can never be replaced with anything else.

But I realize that Gary will need a friend now more than ever, and that for some people out there in the world that's exactly what Chub Creek is; a friend. Two friends. Best friends. But even though it's only me, I think I have to find a way to keep it going so that Gary has a friend for those times he needs one. When I left my family gary recorded a "garecast" for me to play on the plane, and honestly, I don't know how I'd have held it together without that.

So I'm going to continue on with Chub Creek, though I'll find it awkward using the name and the theme song. Not sure about all that, but I'll keep it going for my buddy.

I feel like this should have a violin playing underneath it. Ha ha. Give me a break.