Matters of the Heart

The greatest gift is the present.

Published Sunday, February 12, 2006 by Dave | E-mail this post

Walking through a major mall during the Valentine's Day season has gives me heart palpitations, and not the good kind. Being involved in the graphic design business, I participate in the hype myself, creating images that help sell the whole ideal. But being single gives me clarity of thought that I haven't had in recent memory. I haven't been single for this long a span since I was eighteen, and all the lovey dovey imagery takes on a new, thin, over-hyped, insincere tone.

It isn't really that I don't believe in the spirit of giving your sweetheart something special during this time, but even when I was attached I did slightly resent being forced into spending money on something trite and typical. My style was more in the area of giving when I felt like it, and when I wanted my loved one to feel... loved. And I can hold my head high and say that those times happened a lot. But having been free from those feelings for quite a few months now I see it all with even more skepticism. Walking through the huge mall today I can see poor schmucks racing around the girlie boutiques, frantically trying to empty their wallets for the girlfriend or the wife. What a waste it all is. What good is a dozen roses or a box of chocolates on a day when it's expected of you? Is that romance? I think most people wouldn't know romance if it jumped up and bit them on the sinoatrial node. That dozen roses is all part of a machine, one that I can see very clearly these days, and one which I don't much like. I'd rather unplug the entire machine and have people get real about themselves and their relationships. A dozen wilting roses does not buy you love, or sex, or marriage.

One time in my life I recieved a bunch of roses from a girlfriend. I have to say it did feel nice, and I can understand the appeal, but if it happened to me every year at about the same time I would not hold much for me. Give me a hug, maybe a kiss, tell me you love me. Or even help fold my laundry. That's good for me. I do not heart folding laundry.

8 Responses to “Matters of the Heart”

Anonymous on 3:51 p.m.

Lately, that is how I'm feeling about ALL holidays. Gifts that come from the heart are so much more meaningful than those that are required or expected on holidays. Everything just seems so commercialized these days. At Christmas, I saw commercials for "it's better to give than to receive", so come spend all your money at our store! LOL. I try not to read/watch those kinds of commercials, but you know they dominate our culture and there really is no escaping.

Of course... a lovely gift of YARN is never frowned upon, hee hee. If my husband went to my favourite yarn shop and bought me yarn... then I'd KNOW the gift was not just "a gift for the holiday" but that he was thinking of me. Roses die, chocolates are unhealthy, jewelry is a matter of personal taste... you know, I can buy all of that for myself (in the case of jewelry, I might prefer to!)... Anyway, I pretty much know that I will only get a card for V-day and I'm fine with that or nothing at all! Some loving would be better... yes?
Anonymous on 6:01 p.m.

My husband said he wanted to surprise me with some yarn (for no occasion other than loving me) but didn't know what to buy at our LYS. I said, Dear - I can leave a "wish list" with her. heh

When the men in my life have asked for a Christmas list or whatever, I never have complied. I informed them that if they want to get me a gift then they'll get to know me and learn what I like/want/need. The ones who will actually DO that are rare.

Since I'm the laundry folder maybe a good gift would be for my husband to fold the laundry for me for Valentine's Day.... hmmm... cause I also don't heart folding laundry.

And honestly, even though they seem to be empty gestures, flowers candy and jewelry are better than letting the day go by as if there's nothing going on. It sucks to wish they would remember in SOME way and at the end of the day when all the other girls are going home with flowers (or coming to the office the next day with stories of dinner and engagements rings) you're walking to the car knowing that the person that you wish gave a crap doesn't.

Ahh, the love holiday sucks in that "damned if you do, damned if you don't" kind of way. It's life.

Dave, I think you have more than three readers!!
Anonymous on 8:57 p.m.

i've loved everything my husband ever gave me, but i have to say that the coolest, most creative gift anyone ever got me for valentine's day (maybe for any day) was a potato. it was a first date on valentine's day, and he brought me a whole bunch of random things (fabric softener sheets, the presentation being, "to make your life a little softer," a magic mushroom air freshener, "to make your life smell a little sweeter")--six different things in all, with the grand finale being a red potato about the size of my fist. the explanation: "i looked all over at all the cards and stuff, and i couldn't find anything that looked more like a real heart than this."
i totally, utterly melted. you'd never know it was february.
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